Thursday, March 28, 2013
Friday, November 30, 2012
The Butcher of Khardov
So, a while ago I promised myself that if we ever did another Journeyman league for Warmachine, I'd slow-grow the eButcher Tier list.
Here's a couple shots of my painted eButcher model (compliments of Waffle):
Here's a couple shots of my painted eButcher model (compliments of Waffle):
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Here we go again. I'm a hater I know but you're here, so you must want to hear what I have to say about LoZ:SS.
So I beat Skyward Sword last night. I think that it would probably be one of my favorite Zelda games of all time. I would throw it right up there with Majora's Mask and Link's Awakening. It's not quite Ocarina quality, but then... What is? You'll notice the key words in those sentences: "would". Unfortunately, Skyward Sword gets neither of these commendations in my book. Why? The controls. They sucked so bad it brought the entire experience of the game crumbling down.
Somewhere near the middle of the ending, Link places the Master Sword in a pedestal (a la Ocarina). All I could think the entire time this was about to happen: "Please oh please don't make me do the stupid thing with the Wii Remote just to get him to thrust the sword into the ground like I had to through the game." This really saddens me, because the game was having what I would refer to as 'a moment'. But all I could think of was how much I hated the controls.
Hero Mode? Yea, fuck that noise!
Want me to break it down further? Sure.
Equipment:
Bug Net - Should never have been one of the game's major equipment items. But alas. Anyway, you swing it like the sword. When ever other equipment can be quickly put away by swinging the Remote to draw your sword and this cannot. It caused more than one hiccup in the game.
Beetle - It would have been cool to see link walking around with the medieval equivalent of the Nikita. But it was so uncontrollable at times, I would go out of my way to not have to use it.
Clawshots - Worse than the Twilight princess version. After that awesome item, how can you expect me to go back, Nintendo?
Bombs - A staple of Terrorist Link's item bag since day one. However, they suffer from having to use the crappy Wii Remote controls of throwing and rolling. Terrible! Take a lap!
You know what? No. Forget it. I can't even go through the rest of the items. I'm too pissed. If you really wanna hear me hate some more on your own time, email me. Or maybe I'll come back to this after the Remlit wounds aren't so fresh...
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
The only way I'll ever play THAT....
Ever tell yourself that the only way you would sit down to play a certain video game is because of some unforeseen yet tragic catastrophe that leaves you either bedridden, or bored as hell?
Me too.
Coincidentally, I was in fact recently board as hell. I cracked open my roomate's copy of Crackdown 2 that had recently been shipped from Gamefly.
It was awful.
I played it for a few hours, and kept telling myself that it would get better. Maybe the controls would get easier as I played, or at least I might get used to them. I kept telling myself that maybe the incredibly annoying narrator/central command agent that was constantly telling me what to do, where to go, and even what not to do would shut the hell up!
He didn't.
And I was so, SO upset because of this.
Crackdown 2 is klunky. Even the main character is badly designed. I say this for two reasons, which directly relate to what you're character is supposed to be (but isn't). Your character wears a suit of power armor. It is supposed to enhance his durability and athleticism. I found that they hit the nail on the head in the durability factor. It's so incredibly hard to kill, it takes much of the adrenaline out of playing an action game in which you cannot lose. Even when you do get killed, there is little to no penalty for doing so. You just re-spawn nearby, AND get restocked with ammo, weapons, and vehicles as you see fit. With those kinds of 'penalties' why wouldn't you want to die when you run out of ammo? The enemies don't respawn, and you can just drive back up with a fresh car and some fresh gear. Bad game designers. Bad!
Okay, sure you can jump like fifteen feet in the air, and you can leap from the tallest buildings without fear of death, and you can scale buildings left and right. But if your character is that athletic, and enhanced by power armor, then why does he move like he's walking around inside a giant fat kid? I don't think I need to say anymore on the subject.
Let's talk about the collectibles and advancement in the game. You're character's skills increase by getting kills with either weapons, explosives, driving, or your fists. Fine. I can see that. When you 'level up' one of your skills, you gain access to the next tier items, which you can just have air dropped nearby for you. Sure. You're better at shooting? You can now handle a better gun. I accept. Unlike other games, you actually have to level up your ability to platform (your athleticism, if you can call it that) by picking up these glowing green orbs. Leveling this ability allows you to run faster and jump higher. But the orbs you get, barely contribute much if anything to leveling it. The increases are not significant, and yet are essentially the most important skill you can level up. So why make it so slow in progression? Oh, and lets not forget your reward for being a power armored super soldier: You have the option to collect a different type of athletics orb which gives you an even higher boost (not really) to you score. The catch - it runs away from you. The game designers thought it was a good idea to make these orbs so incredibly hard to capture that ... oh, there aren't words for the frustration I had to endure. I spent no less than thirty minutes chasing ONE orb. It had the bad habit of following the same path over the same four rooftops. When you get near, it speeds up. When you're far, it stops. So you can't even chase it from a different direction. I once tried to head it off at the pass by leaping between the two corner buildings and grabbing it while it was in the void between the skyscrapers. It stopped in mid air rather than continuing on it's path and through my character. It's like they want me to hate playing this game. My only reward for trying to grab the orb through an unorthodox method was a swift fall back to street level from where I had to spend five minutes climbing again. I have to move on, because I think I'm going to vomit if I cover this section much longer.
Goals. Yea, this game has'em. Yea, they suck too. The game gives you the location of your objectives. But never really tells you how to get there. Except for the first time you encounter that type of objective when it has you "follow the white line". After that, you're stuck guessing as to which building it might be on, and where you can climb. You can't even look at your map, because It's just a black square with white lines, and there's no way you can tell the difference between roads and buildings. And once you locate the building you've got to climb, good luck doing so. It turns out that the only possible way to ascend that building is by jumping from an adjacent one, and so on, until you find the only building you CAN climb, about five blocks away.
I really can't convey how irate I am at this game with words. They just don't do me justice. This game sucked. Pure and simple. I'm just glad I had a few beers that night to take the edge off the pain it caused me.
I'm tempted to not even grant this game a rating, but if you have to know, I'd give it...
1 pulsating mutated virus infected freak...out of 5. No. 10. It was that bad.
Me too.
Coincidentally, I was in fact recently board as hell. I cracked open my roomate's copy of Crackdown 2 that had recently been shipped from Gamefly.
It was awful.
I played it for a few hours, and kept telling myself that it would get better. Maybe the controls would get easier as I played, or at least I might get used to them. I kept telling myself that maybe the incredibly annoying narrator/central command agent that was constantly telling me what to do, where to go, and even what not to do would shut the hell up!
He didn't.
And I was so, SO upset because of this.
Crackdown 2 is klunky. Even the main character is badly designed. I say this for two reasons, which directly relate to what you're character is supposed to be (but isn't). Your character wears a suit of power armor. It is supposed to enhance his durability and athleticism. I found that they hit the nail on the head in the durability factor. It's so incredibly hard to kill, it takes much of the adrenaline out of playing an action game in which you cannot lose. Even when you do get killed, there is little to no penalty for doing so. You just re-spawn nearby, AND get restocked with ammo, weapons, and vehicles as you see fit. With those kinds of 'penalties' why wouldn't you want to die when you run out of ammo? The enemies don't respawn, and you can just drive back up with a fresh car and some fresh gear. Bad game designers. Bad!
Okay, sure you can jump like fifteen feet in the air, and you can leap from the tallest buildings without fear of death, and you can scale buildings left and right. But if your character is that athletic, and enhanced by power armor, then why does he move like he's walking around inside a giant fat kid? I don't think I need to say anymore on the subject.
Let's talk about the collectibles and advancement in the game. You're character's skills increase by getting kills with either weapons, explosives, driving, or your fists. Fine. I can see that. When you 'level up' one of your skills, you gain access to the next tier items, which you can just have air dropped nearby for you. Sure. You're better at shooting? You can now handle a better gun. I accept. Unlike other games, you actually have to level up your ability to platform (your athleticism, if you can call it that) by picking up these glowing green orbs. Leveling this ability allows you to run faster and jump higher. But the orbs you get, barely contribute much if anything to leveling it. The increases are not significant, and yet are essentially the most important skill you can level up. So why make it so slow in progression? Oh, and lets not forget your reward for being a power armored super soldier: You have the option to collect a different type of athletics orb which gives you an even higher boost (not really) to you score. The catch - it runs away from you. The game designers thought it was a good idea to make these orbs so incredibly hard to capture that ... oh, there aren't words for the frustration I had to endure. I spent no less than thirty minutes chasing ONE orb. It had the bad habit of following the same path over the same four rooftops. When you get near, it speeds up. When you're far, it stops. So you can't even chase it from a different direction. I once tried to head it off at the pass by leaping between the two corner buildings and grabbing it while it was in the void between the skyscrapers. It stopped in mid air rather than continuing on it's path and through my character. It's like they want me to hate playing this game. My only reward for trying to grab the orb through an unorthodox method was a swift fall back to street level from where I had to spend five minutes climbing again. I have to move on, because I think I'm going to vomit if I cover this section much longer.
Goals. Yea, this game has'em. Yea, they suck too. The game gives you the location of your objectives. But never really tells you how to get there. Except for the first time you encounter that type of objective when it has you "follow the white line". After that, you're stuck guessing as to which building it might be on, and where you can climb. You can't even look at your map, because It's just a black square with white lines, and there's no way you can tell the difference between roads and buildings. And once you locate the building you've got to climb, good luck doing so. It turns out that the only possible way to ascend that building is by jumping from an adjacent one, and so on, until you find the only building you CAN climb, about five blocks away.
I really can't convey how irate I am at this game with words. They just don't do me justice. This game sucked. Pure and simple. I'm just glad I had a few beers that night to take the edge off the pain it caused me.
I'm tempted to not even grant this game a rating, but if you have to know, I'd give it...
1 pulsating mutated virus infected freak...out of 5. No. 10. It was that bad.
Monday, November 1, 2010
It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Gamma World
This article is about my initial reactions to Wizards of the Coast new reprint of the old gem Gamma World. An in depth review of the game may come later.
I recently heard about this game for the first time from Penny Arcade. Admittedly, this is probably not the BEST source of information about tabletop gaming, but it usually does present things in a light that I am receptive to: It puts forward the best, worst, and quirkiest parts of a game.
Their strip on Gamma World did much to intrigue me, to say the least.
Over the weekend, I participated in a tournament for Malifaux in Waynesboro, PA. I ended up tying for first with the friend I'd brought with me. We split the prizes evenly, and I put my share of the store credit towards completing my Malifaux collection, and a starter box of Gamma World. I initially saw it as an impulse buy, and since I was getting about half off the merchandise, all totaled, why not?
I took the box home, read the introduction, and instantly fell in love. So far, the game presents itself as a simplified version of D&D4e with the addition of a card drawing mechanic. From what I've seen of the setting, it has wide flexibility as far as genre and play style opportunities go. Perk: The non sequitur is brilliant. While I have yet to actually play it, I expect great things. It is my sincere hope that this game will at least do SOMETHING to restore some of my lost faith in Dungeons and Dragons, and Wizards of the Coast in general.
GAMMA WORLD
I recently heard about this game for the first time from Penny Arcade. Admittedly, this is probably not the BEST source of information about tabletop gaming, but it usually does present things in a light that I am receptive to: It puts forward the best, worst, and quirkiest parts of a game.
Their strip on Gamma World did much to intrigue me, to say the least.
Over the weekend, I participated in a tournament for Malifaux in Waynesboro, PA. I ended up tying for first with the friend I'd brought with me. We split the prizes evenly, and I put my share of the store credit towards completing my Malifaux collection, and a starter box of Gamma World. I initially saw it as an impulse buy, and since I was getting about half off the merchandise, all totaled, why not?
I took the box home, read the introduction, and instantly fell in love. So far, the game presents itself as a simplified version of D&D4e with the addition of a card drawing mechanic. From what I've seen of the setting, it has wide flexibility as far as genre and play style opportunities go. Perk: The non sequitur is brilliant. While I have yet to actually play it, I expect great things. It is my sincere hope that this game will at least do SOMETHING to restore some of my lost faith in Dungeons and Dragons, and Wizards of the Coast in general.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Everybody Loves Junk Food
This is going to be a short update. I just felt that I should put this up here because I feel like I've been neglecting this lately.
This is just another reason why I love America and the Internet: http://www.chocomize.com/
Make your own chocolate bar, including your choice of topping. Both Bacon and Beef Jerky, as well as Potato Chips are all available as toppings. Wow!
Also, I recently discovered that the Wendy's Tripple Baconator is officially the deadliest fast food in America. I guess it's true what my friends and I have been saying. It DOES take ten years off your life. For a full list of the top 40 deadliest fast foods, check this website.
Regards from my desk where I continue to sit and get fat!
This is just another reason why I love America and the Internet: http://www.chocomize.com/
Make your own chocolate bar, including your choice of topping. Both Bacon and Beef Jerky, as well as Potato Chips are all available as toppings. Wow!
Also, I recently discovered that the Wendy's Tripple Baconator is officially the deadliest fast food in America. I guess it's true what my friends and I have been saying. It DOES take ten years off your life. For a full list of the top 40 deadliest fast foods, check this website.
Regards from my desk where I continue to sit and get fat!
Monday, August 16, 2010
You're One In A Million
So I just read a twitter that informed me that all up and coming Guns 'N Roses dates are officially cancelled. Not that I had plans to see them any time soon. It really is good to know that some things never change, Axl. Jerk.
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